Blakka is free and laughing

Owen "Blakka" Ellis, a well-known Jamaican comedian, and one of the nicest people you can ever meet,  speaks about being "free and laughing" in the Jamaican Star!

Divine Order the morning of Victoria's exam

This morning my daughter had an examination at 8.00 a.m. This is the one morning when:
1. We all wake up late
2. Shane’s school uniform is not ironed
3. My car has a flat tyre

PANIC!

But, it is also the morning when:
1. I breathe
2. I affirm Divine Order
3. Marlon, the gardener is working today
4. My friend Paula, whose son goes to the same school and who passes my gate each morning, is also running late
5. I call Paula and she picks up the children
6. Marlon changes the tyre
7. My daughter gets to her exam on time
8. I exhale and give thanks for Divine Order - and my faith!

Throughout all this, I observe my children. They are calm and cool, sitting quietly as they wait. I give thanks for their faith.

An embarrassment of mangoes

My Julie mango tree has been blessing me every day with what a friend laughingly calls an "embarrassment of mangoes". I have never had this tree bear so profusely. These two photos represent one day's reaping – the first lot I gathered in the morning, and the second in the evening. I am not upset anymore when I spot a seemingly perfect, unblemished mango and find that a blackbird has gotten to it first. There is more than enough to share with all. I have become an ambulatory mango basket, giving away mangoes wherever I go – to family, friends, team members at work, garbage collectors and teachers and staff at my children’s school. I also notice a similar embarrassment of mangoes all over Kingston. Everywhere I go I see trees laden, boughs almost touching the ground, more fruit than leaves. Vendors on the sidewalks are surrounded by buckets and tubs piled high with mangoes of all variety, hawking them by the dozen.

Last September Tropical Storm Gustav wreaked havoc on Jamaica. For days it tumbled rain upon us. It brought down my backyard wall and fence. The rains caused landslides, washed away homes, bridges and roads. People lost their lives. But it also pruned the trees, aerated the roots and thoroughly watered and nourished the soil. The results? Bumper crops of otaheite apples, breadfruit, citrus – and now mangoes.

It is the same way in our lives. Things happen to us that are chaotic, disruptive and traumatic. Yet as time passes we come to realise that they created real good in our lives. Have you ever said in wonder "What a good thing so and so happened"? At the time, "so and so" was quite chaotic and painful, yet months or even years later, when we see the growth in ourselves, we recognise that some good resulted because of it. Just to be able to see the good in a situation is a blessing.

Today, look for the blessings in your life. Look at a situation that is painful for you and give thanks for your growth and any good at all that has come from it. This is not to deny the pain, just to accept it and recognise the good. In accepting the mangoes from my tree, I am not at all denying the devastation of Gustav, just giving thanks for the blessings. Give thanks today for the bumper crop of blessings flowing through your life.

"This being human" - Rumi

I love the poet Rumi. My friend and yoga teacher Donovan introduced me to this poem yesterday. I am still pondering and meditating on it. It is so profound. I love every line. I share it with you today because it is such wisdom for how to joyful lives, accepting the adversities that present themselves and seeing them for what they truly are!

"This being human is a guest house
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honourably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent as a guide from beyond"

Rumi- translation by Coleman Barks

Follow up to the unfree and unlaughing moment

So, yesterday morning I turn into a parking lot for a meeting downtown and wait patiently for the security guard to complete his processing of a vehicle exiting the lot. He then approaches my car, and when I say "Good morning. How are you", he replies with "Not as good as you". He then sweetly proceeded to direct me where to park and how to have my parking ticket validated.

When I was leaving, I presented him with the gift of a mango that I had picked from my tree this morning, in gratitude for his welcoming disposition which was so in contrast to my experience yesterday.

What made the difference? Me! Having spent the morning writing my blog and changing my state from unfree and unlaughing to free and laughing, the only experience I could possibly have had was a free and laughing one! And I did! The guard was grateful for the mango, and I was grateful for the experience. Win win.

An unfree and unlaughing moment

Yesterday I had an unfree and unlaughing moment!

I turned into a parking space at a small shopping plaza. The vehicle beside me was parked badly i.e. on the yellow line, and so I adjusted how I parked in order to give the driver space to enter his car. A security guard began frantically signalling to me, his face contorted with the most sour disposition, to park properly i.e. square within the yellow lines. An abundance of hand signalling, word mouthing and eye rolling followed as he tried to explain what he wanted me to do. I turned down my windows and said "Good morning sir" which usually has the effect of softening the unhappy person. Not this time. He did respond in like words, but retained his very unpleasant disposition. I asked him "Would you like me to park in a certain way"? He railed yes, and I must park properly and what is wrong with people who can’t drive, and on and on and on. Each time I tried to adjust my car, he indicated that it wasn’t perfect. I found myself getting flustered, and even considered just leaving, as the matter I was attending to was not urgent. Meanwhile, the driver of the vehicle that had bad-parked beside me was looking at the whole interlude with the greatest of humour. That made me even more upset as HE was the reason I had not parked properly in the first place!

Finally I parked to the guard’s satisfaction and went about my business. When I returned, he was still carrying on loudly about how "Some people can’t drive they can only steer, etc." clearly aimed at “some people” being me. I was most upset, and just could not bring myself to be free and laughing!

In reflecting on this situation, what COULD I have done to be free and laughing? I had a number of choices:
1. I could have happily ignored the guard’s instructions. Maybe not a good idea, as he was so wrapped up in his wanting to be right and exert his ultimate authority as the ruler of the space!
2. I could have driven off – I really didn’t need the product, and it turned out that the store didn’t have it anyway. So my instinct to leave was telling me something
3. I could have changed my countenance. Even when he responded dourly to my gay “good morning” I could have simply said with the brightest of smiles "I will be happy to park properly, just bear with me a minute. I really do appreciate your help". Would that have made a difference to him? Maybe, maybe not. But it would have made a real difference to me!

There are other things I could have done, but these scenarios give examples of the multitude of choices facing us in any given moment. At any moment during that 5-minute interlude, I could have chosen a different way of being and acting.

Now I am free and laughing about that moment – a day later, but at least I am free of the emotion and able to laugh! I can move on to enjoy my moments today, unburdened by yesterday’s experience. I am now present to this moment. I am free and laughing!

Laughter and work

We have made a virtue out of being serious. We believe that to be professional, to be businesslike, to have credibility and power, we must be austere, solemn and sober with nary a smile, laugh nor twinkle of the eye to be displayed openly. Thus, our places of work are mausoleums, testimony to the nameless, soulless concept of work. Fun? No way – that is antithetical to work, for how could we actually consider enjoying something that is serious business? No wonder so many of us don’t like work, our workplaces, bosses and co-workers! "Monday morning blues" and "Thank God it’s Friday" are indicators of our view of work.

It is our innate human nature to laugh! One of the first things babies do is smile, gurgle and laugh. It brings the rest of us joy and we laugh too. Babies all through the animal kingdom play and have fun. And it too brings the rest of us joy, smiles and laughter. Interestingly, children laugh 300 times per day whilst adults laugh on average, only 15 times per day! Seems like we lose our natural way of being as we get older! Yet, when we are laughing and joyous is when we feel, and do our best. Suppressing our joyous being from our work is one of the worst things we can do to our soul. Trying to leave our joy at home, and keep it out of the workplace is like going to work without our heart, or our lungs. We would die. And thus it is when we separate our joy from our work – we die a slow, torturous death of stress, complaints, mistrust, boredom and sadness at the office.

Here are two photographs of laughing professionals - a corporate trainer an engineer, a dentist, a Minister of Religion, who know and demonstrate that God gave us the gift of joy and laughter to be expressed wherever we are!

Today, laugh at work! take a risk at being considered "unprofessional" - you might just be surprised at how many people actually like it - and join you!

Demonstrations of magic and miracles

There are times when your world doesn’t seem to be working so well, when we wonder what is wrong – with us, with others, with everything. At such times there are feelings of discomfort, lack, disorder and even despair in our lives. We may look at our goals, desires and stated intentions and they seem ever more elusive. We may feel like giving up, or lowering our intentions to fit the limitations in our lives. Perhaps we feel to settle for our lives as they are – discomfort, stress, disorder, pain, mediocrity and even suffering.

We don’t have to. We can choose to move ourselves out of this conundrum and reclaim our inheritance of a life of joy and wellbeing. I know, because I experienced such a situation yesterday.

On Thursday, I returned from overseas to find things not going as I wished. All sorts of problems and bad news abounded. I noticed that I was very agitated, tense and on a short fuse with everyone around me. That night, I resolved to get to bed early, but not before a warm shower and meditation. I lit the calming chamomile incense and sat still for 20 minutes. It was a difficult meditation, more sitting than meditation as my thoughts were all over the place but I just sat in quietude and observed. I then crawled into bed, with this thought "Tomorrow is a new day". I resolved to start my day right with meditation, prayer, readings and journaling and set my alarm set an hour earlier to make sure that I could do this unhurriedly.

I awoke to the new day. I opened my Daily Word magazine "randomly" to a reading on ….. FAITH! "Blessings are flowing to me and from me this day". Magic, I thought, for this is exactly the message I need. I then opened my Creative Thought magazine again "randomly" and … more magic! "I am opulent" was the reading, with a quotation by Karen Drucker: "God is my source. God is my power. God gives me everything I need". In this spirit, I wrote 3 pages of things I was grateful for in my gratitude journal, some I had already received and some I desired to receive. I then proceeded to outline my "to do" list for the day, guided now by the poignant reminder to have faith in the only power and source that always gives me everything I need and focused by my expressions of gratitude!

From this moment on, my day becoming infused with all sorts of beautiful moments of manifestation. I wrote "Mother’s Day promo' for Free and Laughing. Within an hour, Michael Anthony Cuffe called and invited me to be a guest on his radio programme that evening to speak about my Free and Laughing CD! I received good news about the possibility of a large 6-month contract for my firm. I finally contacted a client, who had been ambivalent about a proposal over the past few months, and he told me "Marguerite, we have to talk. We need help". Payments long outstanding for my books and CDs came in. All was well in my world. Magic and miracles abounded! It was a new day!

And so I muse: what are the lessons from this experience? They abound, but here are a few. I am sure you will discern more.

1. Observe - our bodies signal our alignment with our intentions. Once we notice that our bodies and emotions are in disarray, it is a signal to change our state. We can start this process with simple, physical things – gentle nurturing of our bodies with a warm shower, yoga or massage; creating a calm environment and sitting quietly in meditation, or just sitting with eyes closed and deep, slow breathing

2. Our intentions - underlying this must be clarity around our intentions. Sometimes the discomfort in our bodies and emotions is telling us to get clear about our desired state

3. Be grateful – expressing our gratitude immediately shifts our state by reminding us how blessed we already are, and sets and focuses the blessings to come. What we give thanks for, we receive more of

4. Faith – know that God is the only Source, the only Power that gives us everything we need. When we have faith, we will know that any appearances to the contrary are simply temporary illusions that will pass away

Gratitude and faith. These two precepts set the foundation for our good to flow to us. We are co-creators of our lives. With clear intentions for our lives, faith in the only Source and gratitude for all our blessings, demonstrations of magic and miracles will be the norm, rather than the exception.

Me vs. swine flu

"World vs. Swine flu" – Huffington Post
"Countries take steps to prevent swine flu outbreak" - CNN
"Swine flu fears sweeping the world" – Jamaica Observer
"US declares swine flu emergency" – MSN

Governments all over the world are rushing to formulate plans to fight this latest strain of the influenza virus. All sorts of measures are being implemented – from banning imports of meat to closing schools. We are advised to avoid contact with people who display any signs of the flu – and we are not to kiss! Oh dear …. this is serious.

One thing I am not hearing about is what we can do on a personal level. Since the flu attacks individuals, then there must be something that individuals can do. I believe that the main thing that we can each take responsibility for is the health of our immune system. Strong and healthy immune systems are able to withstand attacks on our body. Here’s what I am doing with immediate effect:

1. Increasing my daily intake of fresh fruits and vegetables. I will be vigilant about having my daily dose of green juice (coconut water, cucumber, pak choy and ginger – and whatever else is green in my fridge or garden). And I will consciously increase my intake of fruits – quite easy for me in Jamaica as mango season is here! A fresh salad each evening will be my dining delight! For those who still eat meat, now is a good time to reduce or eliminate this from your diet!

2. Making sure to drink lots of water and coconut water to flush my body of any germs or viruses that invade, and keep it well-hydrated

3. Getting adequate rest – tricky one for me, but I do plan to get to bed by 10.00 p.m. and to take little naps throughout the day

4. Exercise – spinning or running for the health of my heart and yoga for the oxygenation of my cells and detoxing and relaxation effects. Both, as with any form of exercise, will get my endorphins up and active so that I will feel relaxed and happy!

5. Laugh – 300 times per day like children do. Laughter is a great way to build the immune system as it oxygenates our cells and relieves the effects of stress. Plus it’s contagious, so it’s an easy way to help others to build their immune system

6. Stay positive – we do not have to buy in to the gloom and doom. I will affirm daily that I am perfect health and that every cell in my body is well

Yes, there is an increase in the incidence of this very dangerous flu. But we are not helpless, waiting, waiting, waiting for the inevitable attack and wondering and worrying about what our government is doing, or not doing about it. We can do our part to make sure that there is one less case by taking care of ourselves. This gives us a sense of empowerment and purpose – one of the very best things for our well-being.

Living life full out at 98!

"How does it feel to be 98 Aunt Clara"?

"Great" was the response. The simplicity of the word belied the power of the emotion, for it was said with such a smile (see photo above and you will know what I mean) that you just KNOW that it really IS great to be 98 … and to be Aunt Clara.

Family and friends had gathered throughout yesterday afternoon and into the evening (last folks left at 10.00 p.m.) to celebrate the 98th birthday of my father’s cousin, Aunt Clara. It was the happiest of occasions. Friends and family arrived with sumptuous fare, flowers and gifts to honour this wonderful soul whom we all feel blessed to know and love. Small groups huddled, shaking heads in wonderment, able only to emit adjectives such as "amazing", "wonderful", "inspiring" to describe her. Words were failing us, as we sat and marvelled at this dynamo in our midst.

What is the secret to her longevity - not only to the length of her life, but the quality of it that has her so beloved by a bevy of friends of all ages and walks of life? What is her magic, her secret? I think it is this:

1. She looks forward. Aunt Clara is always planning something. We were all told months ago to reserve Saturday April 25 to join in her birthday celebration. She organized and executed everything. We were just told to turn up. And, she and I have already discussed her 100th birthday celebration!

2. She puts the past behind her. An oft-repeated phrase by Aunt Clara, whenever she is relating some incident that may not have been too pleasant for her is "Anyway, I just put that behind me". And that’s the end of that

3. She keeps moving. I noticed her yesterday rising to greet each new arrivant, bustling to get them something to eat and drink, refilling empty serving plates, checking that all were engaged and happy. Arthritis or no arthritis, Aunt Clara keeps moving

4. She surrounds herself with those she loves. Aunt Clara is legendary in her entertaining. Every Sunday she has friends to lunch, often times followed by tea! She is always inviting you to come and sit with her, have a cup of tea, a chat. And once she receives an invitation, she makes the effort to attend. She is a gracious hostess and guest

5. She is grateful. Whenever she comes to my home for a function, she never fails to call the next day to extend her gratitude and tell you what a lovely time she had

6. She smiles – always a smiling face, twinkling eyes showing her genuine love for you! Ailments are mentioned with a smile, a simple acceptance that it is what it is, not something to be dwelled upon nor complained about.

Looking at this list, I realise that it is applicable not just when you are 98, but at all ages. Live like this, and your life will truly be the joy it was meant to be!

Clara. Her name means “clear, bright”. She is truly a bright spark in the lives of those who know and love her. She is a beacon that shows us how life is to be lived! Her real secret is that she is fully engaged in life. Happy birthday to my dear Aunt Clara - my inspiration, my role model for living life full out!